In Love, Falling

She wears a jewel watch
But not for the time

Moonlight used to navigate
Malleable melancholy men

A careless call to copy
Compliant cavalry killing

Unsuspecting victims
Eyes glinting of gold

Swore an oath to herself
To trust no one else

A wrist crux clasps
Together at the top

No bells in the distance
No awakening alert

Just the dark of the night
With an irreproachable breeze

A path of familiarity
In deceit of the men

A stride closer to her
Is a stride closer to death

She is hanging from a tree
With the help of a necktie

Over a dark-cloaked cliff
A hundred feet high

With forgotten time as the distance
Between life, love, and peril

- PatInTheHat

Amphitheater

A tuning orchestra
And rehearsed symphony

Not a snare
A crescendo tympani

A soft piano ballad
A boisterous trumpet

A heart-stringed harp
Along breath reeded

Fingers on Ivory's organ
Hair kissing strings

You are a xylophonic whisper
In a multitonic cavern

Each note a new color
Light piercing the rocks above

This is our theater
And you are the music

With our hearts
As the conductor

And only me
As the audience

-PatInTheHat

Slowly, In Reverse

Wrinkled hands

Caught

On cotton threads

Soaked

In water

The mind 

Teaches

The body how

To adapt in

A new environment

Involuntary

Evolution

Encompasses

Eternal

Change

But these wrinkles

Do not come from

The water

They come from

The age

We evolve

Only so long

As we

Are not

Dying

And then

Like a 

Cotton thread

We wither

Slowly

The thread
Sponges the water
And expels it
When wrung by
Crossed fingers

Promises
The heart
Makes
On behalf of
Chemical reactors

Until the
Reaction
Is just
The last
Beat

Life
Is just
One
Long term
Deceit

- PatInTheHat

And My Small Soldier

Mentioning a past demon
To a soft spoken
Small soldier
Wreaks internal havoc

I do not judge her size
As the strength of her heart
Beats ammunition into
The demon of my soul

The bullet holes released
The light from the darkness
The light I thought I lost
In a previous life

I fought the soldier as
She struggled to fight
The overbearing opaque world
That lived inside of me

The battle grew fierce
And the strength of her heart
Seemed to be winning
Until I helped the demon

With my shaking fingers
I closed each bullet portal
That she had created
In an effort to save me

And my small soldier began to break

The cracks of darkness from the demon
Spread like the fire in hell and
Fear spread to her
And the base of her troop

I became the demon
And the demon became me
The troop knew the way to
Defeat the darkness of the demon

Was to defeat me

__________

Time killed the demon
That once lived inside of me
But not before haphazardly
Spreading more of its evil

Destroying other soldiers

Invading other troop

__________

The one who looked hell
Straight in the eye
And battled until her heart
Couldn't take the pain anymore

My small soldier deserves more than an ode
Instead: a statue built to the sky
As a long over-due

Thanks to you

- PatInTheHat

Stress, My Cardio Path

Glass spills on the counter-top
The rest of what I've got

Cotton cloth caught calling
Monster molding more maladies

Drip

Drop

From the sand clock

Is it that I am repressed?
Or is it that this beating heart
Sees no boundaries around you?

When you leave, it's like you die.

And then I must find
Somewhere in time

A place where you do not exist

- PatInTheHat

Windows

Windows windows, windows exist windows in windows, were windows due windows the windows that windows couldn't windows broomsticks through windows windows. 

The Forgotten Longing

How I know I love you

    Is not due to my romantics

Or how I care for you when you are sick

    It is the feeling I get
    As my stomach fails to set

When I know you are going to leave...

- PatInTheHat

Blank

I only wish
   that people read
               what I am about
                            in the hopes that I'm
                                      better understood
                                                     by those who
                                                                 see me as
                                                                          just a blank canvas

- PatInTheHat

Of Me

My energy
Quickly and
Quietly
Siphoned from my
Collapsing veins

Hello, body traveler
Crux of my
Existence
You are my
Intangible nightmare

I cannot see you
But I feel you
Deep within
Latched to organs with
No voice to scream

In pain
They lose function
As the indomitable
Mutants
Colonize

And

Like ants

Find other

Equally nutrient

Warehouses

Gravity is

Ineffective here

So the colony

Rises

For a new home

Until

It is satisfied

With my

Atrium

As its bungalow

And my
Suffocating
Ventricle

For sustenance
This leech of me

The wind taken

From my sails

But now

I wonder

Am I "it"

Or is "it"

Me

Eyes clouded

Headed high

And still 

I wonder 

Am I "it"

Or is "it"

Me

Another breath

System fails

Until I can't

Wonder

Where is "it"

Where is

"Me"

This is how

It has to be

- PatInTheHat

Water Bags

Encapsulated
Me
Bound by this
Easily penetrable
Outer layer
I walk as a
Grounded
Rain cloud

Though I look
Vulnerable
I emit static
Painfully yet
Beautifully
The reaction of which is
Natural
If agitated

Or perhaps
That is just
A transparent
Facade
A ghost of
Forlorn and
Broken
Confidence

It hides
Under the
Wrinkled and
Worn
Bed sheets of
Aesthetically displeasing
And utterly morbid
Childhood

No
I am a
Water bag
In order to drink
You must
Cut me open
Pierce the skin
And the heart

But will you
Bandage
The dam you broke
Or will you
Let it flow
Because you like 
The taste of red and
The smell of copper

I can be
Beaten by
A pin-prick
And saved by
A band-aid
So long as
The water knows
Where to go

Teach it and
Set me free

- PatInTheHat

Third Party (Update)

Alright, guys. I think it's time I write a more formal post about the third party candidates that have grown in popularity during this election cycle. I have had many conversations with many different people on this topic; therefore, instead of having more disgruntled arguments that tend to just result in party bashing, let me give you a more well-formulated summary of what the third party candidates mean to me, as well as what they mean to me in this election cycle.

I genuinely appreciate everyone who has had a hand in bringing the third-party conversation up. I know many of you who have been adamantly against Hillary and Trump think that I'm just ridiculously closed-minded to the Democratic agenda, but I can assure you that so long as anyone can present me with an abundance of facts about a different and better candidate my mind is, indeed, swayable. If those facts that you believe in are ones that I don't, then that's just that, but I have, and have continued to, research all 4 candidates in the current election cycle. There are pros and cons to each of them.

That said, I think a more open-minded person would realize that the situation, as dire as it is, does not facilitate the start of the third party conversation in this election cycle. Though my sample space is only those that I know, and not the millions of those that I don't, the unanimous consensus is that no one wants Trump to be president. Like, literally, not a single person I have talked to, which is including the third party supporters, want Trump to be president in an alternate universe let alone this one. About 75% of those unanimously against Trump--and that percentage is definitely a rough estimate and by no means an empirical value--and are for a third partier do not want Hillary Clinton to be president, but would be able to tolerate her presidency. The majority of the 25% of the people that wouldn't be able to tolerate Trump OR Clinton understand that their votes will hardly matter this election, but will vote for a third party anyway thinking that it'll help those third partiers for the next election cycle. The fact is, though, that the growth of a third party happens over time and not instantaneously as the video below will illustrate. That growth does not necessarily come from more votes for that party's presidential candidate each cycle, but rather from votes for that specific third party throughout Congressional elections. Moreover, the evolution of a third party will simply mean the destruction of another, and thus we'll be right back to a two-party system anyway due to first-past-the-post election process that we currently use in the US--this information is specifically geared toward the "I'm sick of the two-party system!" people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7tWHJfhiyo

As the above video illustrates: If we're not careful Trump could become president purely because someone like Gary Johnson is closer in ideology to Hillary than to Trump, therefore spreading the vote and allowing Trump to win the candidacy. ( I would also recommend watching the video on Alternative Voting! If there's one thing we may be able to change sooner rather than later, it's the way our system votes, and Alternative Voting would make more than two parties semi-relevant to very relevant every single election cycle!)

Secondly, if any of the third party candidates were as star-spangled awesome as they make themselves out to be, I would totally be on board! There was a guy in this election cycle that WAS that awesome. And I'm pretty sure we all remember Bernie Sanders! There are many of you out there that have switched to a third party ideal because Bernie is no longer in the race. And now, not only is there 3 parties, there are 4! And not one media station uses the term "Fourth party," but that's exactly what there is. Personally, if I found out that enough people would write down "Bernie Sanders" on the ballot come November, then I would totally do the same! However, I know that doing so is a wasted vote. I know that by writing anyone's name down that isn't already on the major ballot will be a vote straight to the garbage bin. Therefore, my attention has to be diverted elsewhere. To some of you that has seemed like a closed minded idea, but I can't figure out how it could be. As I said, I was a huge Bernie Sanders supporter, but once I found out he was going to lose--whether the primaries were rigged or not--I had to divert my attention elsewhere. I also received criticism for changing sides--so I guess I can't do that either?--but I had to rid my mind of conspiracy theories and simply look at the facts. He was not going to win, which means I had to look to someone not named Trump that had a real fighting chance of winning the general election. For those unaware, Trump had the most votes during the Repub primary this year in history. This is alarming.

Lastly, it might not seem like it right now, but voting for a third party candidate this election, in line with the First Past The Post system I posted a video about above, is against our own interests. I'm aware that the voting system is neither reasonable or fair, but that's why I attempted to also bring up Alternative Voting, which is one thing I think we can all agree is a better process. It's not a perfect process by any means, but it's better than what we have. To paraphrase a friend of mine having a similar discussion: If we vote a third party candidate we'll feel good about ourselves, but the vote won't help us accomplish anything we want done. In order for that to happen, we need to be more vocal with our representatives that can actually help change happen regardless of party alliance. Yes, some representatives suck, and we don't realize how much they suck sometimes until they're in office striking down the 9/11 First Responders bill or something, but if we speak up and speak loud enough we can change enough minds to practically reverse the ideologies of the parties. Let's not forget, when Lincoln was president, he was a Republican; however, a Republican then is a modern-day Democrat in beliefs. So although we want change, and many of us feel like a third party is the way that change occurs, that's not really the truth. There aren't enough third (or fourth) party members in Congress to help a president of that party make changes. Change is not overnight. It takes time. Even if we currently didn't live in a FPTP environment, there would still need to be a large amount of those party members in Congress to make a difference.

Ultimately, I applaud those that want change. I do! I constantly use the quote from Teddy Roosevelt that states, and I'm paraphrasing again, in any given decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. Due to the situation we have this election cycle I see voting for Hillary as the best thing we can do. I see voting Donald Trump to be the wrong thing to do (It's disgusting to think that is the second best thing, right?), and I see voting a third party candidate, given the sheer mathematical improbability of any of them winning and against our own interests it would be, to be like doing nothing. I understand the desire for change! But like Barack Obama asked for during his campaign in '07, in order to make change we need people to work together and speak loudly! If we keep pointing the finger at those we don't like instead of studying their values, principles, and policies, then we're just hypocrites, right?

(Update)
The following article is from Robert Reich, who was the Secretary of Labor under Bill Clinton. Whether you're for or against Hillary Clinton, I really think you should read this! Reich is really good at putting this election cycle into perspective. What's cool for me is that he wrote this shortly after I wrote this original post. It seems that him and I have a similar mindset.

http://robertreich.org/post/150611415595

- PatInTheHat

Running Heart

When the heart trips
    it has no hands
      to catch it

- PatInTheHat

Black Famous Person Does Something Disagreeable; Media, Nation Watch Every Move He Makes

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - While taking part in a charity event that helps fund the eradication of diseases that effect ailing children, controversial black sports player, Kris Cristobal, answered questions from media outlets about that not-so-outlandish thing he did of which many disagreed with. "Some things I just really don't feel like doing. Like, the other week, I was outside and never put sunscreen on. Apparently paparazzi was outside my house to witness the lack of action," said a perplexed Cristobal after fielding the question from a lackadaisical and semi-racist reporter who really has no idea what real reporting is, "You don't seem very black, so why don't you wear sunscreen?"

Standing at 6'7", Kris is revered as someone who really does that sports thing like no other. He sportses so well that any little thing he does is magnified by a billion, which is why when he decided to stand for the entire duration of mass on a Sunday with random media and reporters to watch and record behind the opaque stained glass of his local cathedral, many people took to social media outlets to voice their disdain once the videos landed on the webosphere.

"I just wanted to show awareness that the Church, after all these years, still doesn't pay taxes, and it could very well be the reason this country that I love is in economic distress," announced Cristobal on Sunday afternoon.

"I just couldn't believe it," said one confused church patron, "he just kept standing. In a prayer session where you sometimes sit, sometimes stand, and sometimes kneel, he went and did that one thing that no one, not even God himself likes--he stood the entire time. He was, for all intents and purposes, a real stand-up guy. No one likes that, and frankly, I question whether or not he's even Christian."

"I, for one, didn't necessarily agree with his stance," retorted a more logical church goer that first made sense and then drifted into insanity, "but I'll say this: At least he's not one of those people that sit the entire time. Those people I. Can't. Stand! Err, I mean, I CAN stand, I just meant that I'm not one of those sit...oh, nevermind. All-in-all, I get what he was going for, I just wish he used a different method to get his point across, like going to the rectory later on to tell the priests that they're doing a bad job or something."

A day later, media outlets continued to follow every move Kris made. "Oh, look! He's wearing a tie that has Jesus flying on a statue of Buddha! Let's spin the story so that we make people think that he hates all religions!" shouted a lazy, pathetic, and overall asinine news reporter that popped out of the shrubbery from Cristobal's front yard. Completely ignoring the rest of his black tuxedo outfit.

At press time, Cristobal is about to give another speech on how he's tired of the games played outside of the sports stadiums that he lives and dies for every day.

-PatInTheHat

Strings

After a gentle sob in her hands
She looked up at me and said,
"It's too much, you see,
It's too much for me
I must move on and
Let you do the same"

______


Under the umbrella of
An unfinished affair
I felt a pull one day,
A curious reeling sensation that
Started to move me somewhere
That I had once been

I had come to the potential
And uncomfortable realization
That I am Pinocchio
Before the cricket
And the wish
Yet still lying with others

Each woman
A pair of scissors
Forebodingly and unsuccessfully
Cutting their way through
The silk strings
That have me captured

Though it feels like
I am inside the web
Of a spider enchantress
Ready to suck
The entire life
Out of its force-tied prey

I feel instead
A sense of morbid curiosity
Hoping that the
Webbed lasso
Squeezing itself around my ribcage
Is just a warm blanket

The pull strengthens
And I give in
To the recoil I feel
From the back of
My heart to the
Front of hers

It did not matter that
The beat of her heart
Created an earthquake
That spread us apart
Because the strings
Held us together

'Til death

- PatInTheHat

Mauerbauertraurigkeit

He sat there
Talking with friends
That did everything
They could
To keep his attention

Five feet away
But as far reaching
As the Atlantic
Between the US
And the UK

In silence
He listened carefully
But in his mind
He ran quickly
In another direction

Trying to forget
The idiosyncrasies
That allowed her
To pierce his heart
Of layered gauze

The catch of
This well-done
Cooked scenario
Branded his brain
With contention

A lifetime
He lived rooted in the ground
Next to perpetual
And cyclical
Fervid chrysanthemums

- PatInTheHat

So We Thought

Her:
pasta is bubbling on the stove
water sizzling and hissing
mingling with the sighs of simmering sauce
left unattended
the cat sits on the table
whining for our affection
but you pull me close
and we sway
slow dancing in the kitchen
the tiles cool beneath my bare toes
my knees graze your calves
you hum Sinatra and smile down at me
eyes crinkling at the corners
I stare into their shadowed depths and

think of the river
cool breeze on an Autumn night
no stars in the sky as we sit in my car
tangled in the seat belt
my knees squeezing your thighs
a forbidden first kiss
telling you “we can't do this”
as I pull you closer

I pull you closer
twirl my fingers through your hair
the way you've twirled yourself around my heart
lodged between ribs
twined in veins
rooted deeply
resting my head against your chest
I feel your heart beat
remember

your erratic pulse,
nervous energy
salesman's smile and
shaky pitch
my legs just barely touching yours
on that hard, black futon
unforgiving, judging us
as I held your hand,
brushing my lips against your finger
saying, “we can't do this,”
as I pull you closer

I pull you closer.
I know I should tell you
“we can't do this right now
the pasta will turn to mush
and the sauce will bubble over.
we need to chastise the cat
for sitting on the table,”
but instead
I frame your face in my hands
tiptoe into the kiss
and say,
“we can do this”

Him:
water boiling, bubbling, banging
pasta gasping for air, a companion
sauce in reach
left unattended
a furry thud comes from the table
the cat whines and wins a glance from you
but I pull you close to me
and we sway
slow dancing in the kitchen
distractions disappear, my forehead to yours
hips moving in unison, attached
I hum Sinatra and you smile up at me
I stop abruptly, “more?” you ask
I shake my head shyly and

recall the cafeteria
dark and dimly lit corners
no one around but you and I
tangled in our delicate ideas
your hand caressing my face
a forbidden first kiss
whispering to you artificial apologies
as I pull you closer

I pull you closer
envelop my arms around your waist
the way you’ve enveloped your love around my heart
nestled against my aorta
filling each ventricle with warm flames
forever ablaze
your head rests against my chest
my heart flutters in a rush of joy
remember

your smile
a moment, translucent
your influx of concern
coming and going
wanting to see that smile again
enjoying the moment
could be the last
it’s not the last
it won’t be the last
I hope we can do this
I know we can do this

“This is it,” I say
more confident  than ever
still dancing smoothly
cherishing each moment
each movement
you kiss my lips softly
as if it’s the last
but I have no worry
it’s your heart touching mine
breathing with mine
we then say in harmony,
“we can do this”


- PatInTheHat

Lapidary

Please don't harm the outside of
this priceless stone I found.
It has only been a short time since
I dug her from the ground.

She glistens in the moonlight
and blends with twinkled stars.
More beautiful than the lapidary
forming undulating scars.

She reconciles with yellow
and makes friends with rain.
She flushes away the darkness
and relinquishes the pain.

What am I to do now when I
take a loving knee?
Because there's nothing I can give
her that's more precious than she.

- PatInTheHat

Template

Dear        ,

Hello, there. Though I may never meet you, I want you to know you are beautiful. Your beauty emanates in the way you walk and talk. That will never change.

Hello, there. You are my transparent daydreams. I cannot see you, but I know you are there somewhere. I hope you are happy and rid of any malcontent. You deserve to be happy.

Hello, there. I want you to know that I'm ready. I'm ready for your poor grammar and punctuation. Your silly shoes and frizzy hair. I'm ready for your ups and downs, because we all have them. None of that matters in the long-run after all, right? I'm ready if you are ready. Is there such a thing as being ready?

Hello, there. It is cold and snowy out, but your warmth cascades over those closest to you. It is no wonder they love you so much. 

Hello, there. What are you afraid of? Is it the future, or is it the past? Both are terrifying in their own right, but, I wonder, which are you closest to? No matter, dear. We'll fight through the demons just as you have always been able to do on your own. You are strong. But together: immortal. 

Hello, there. Are you there? I cannot see through the haze, but I guess I should trust that you are there. Do not go too far. Please stay safe.

Goodbye for now. Hope to see you soon.

Sincerely, 

Wake Up Call

Dear Everyone I Know,

        I'm going to make this short, sweet, and to the point.  

If you do not know by now, then it's time that you are informed that the UK has voted to leave the EU. Without knowing a lot about the global economy, I'm sure your first thought is, "I don't get it, why do I care?" Well, one of the main reasons you should care is that the same fear-mongering that has worked here with Trump, actually WORKED in the EU. People who were terrified of immigration decided to secede from the European Union in an attempt to remain safe. This quasi-rational attempt is going to have a lot of negative economic implications across the board. Similarly, if we (the US) are content to assume, because of the polling process, that Hillary is going to beat Trump without actually going out to vote, then the same exact thing will happen in this country. We will accidentally give the election to Donald Trump, and then we will have to suffer the consequences of electing a man who fear-mongers and separates us as people even further. We MUST stay as united as possible. It's the only way we can defeat the idea of hate in a society so bent on imploding.

This also means that we can't allow a 3rd party candidate to steal votes from Hillary. If we do that, we give Trump a better chance of succeeding (sorry Gary Johnson fans, but that's just the truth). I hope all of you will heed this warning, as it is imperative we come together and make sure that more negative history is not a part of our future.

As bad as the EU referendum is, just think of how ridiculous things will get globally with a Trump presidency.

Best,

PatInTheHat

Changed

Awake
                                  Eyes move rapidly
                                                                         To the right
To the left
                   What is this?
                                                                                                      Where am I?
Shackled to dusty dungeon posts
                                                             Am I in Hell?
Or is this just
                                                                                           The bastard's cell?
I can't tell
Must fish for something
                                                      A key on this cement floor
                                                                                                         With one arm free
All I feel is bitter cold
                                             All I see is nowhere to go
                                                                                                      All I know is nothing
Panic

Panic

Panic

How do I survive?
                                         Body shaking
                                                                                    Heartbeat echoes
Drugged
                                  Stabbed in the arm
                                                                               By this bastard's
Heroine
Saving nothing
Destroying everything

I am a bank
                                Withdrawing previously unneeded necessity
Depositing vomit in the stale
                                                                                           Dank corner of this
Prize on concrete
                                  I wither
                                                        Immobile
I look at death
                                                                              And I kiss it
                              Without affection
                                                                                                   But with confidence
It will not get me
                                   And I will tease it
                                                                                   Undoubtedly
Until I am found
                                   Though I am not lost
Captured
              Duped
                        Disfigured
                                        Downward spiraling
                                                                        Going inane
                                                                                           Earnest clown without visible audience
                                                                         Is this someone's game?
To this thirst
                                     This starvation
                                                                                 I call on the impossible
Instead of breaking these chains
                                                        I will break this post
Determined
                                                                                                   Willed by feint breaths
One more bang
One more pull
                                       Repeat
One more bang


One more pull
                                                             Repeat
One more bang



One more pull
                                                                                         Repeat
One more bang




One more pull
                                                                                                                       Last breath

- PatInTheHat

One to Ten

First insecurity vanquished
Second hand held to comfort
Third moment that time stood still
Fourth permanent memory made
Fifth future reevaluation
Sixth understated comment on her own intelligence
Seventh inessential dab of makeup to hide her perfections
Eighth copybook kiss that accidentally smudged her lipstick
Ninth time she smiled this minute
Tenth reason to stay through time

- PatInTheHat

Early Goodbye (Orlando)

I am not the face of an important news outlet. I am just some guy that wears trillbies and writes a blog.

That said, I feel, in the short time subsequent to the horrific gun violence in Orlando, obligated to say something about this event.

On Saturday night I was, like many American millenials, in a club/bar of some kind having an awesome time. Around the 2am hour of Sunday morning, I was safely leaving towards home with my friends. We all made it home safely that night, and fell asleep to the peaceful sound of silence.

Those were the first thoughts I had the moment I found out about the shooting. I was instantaneously paralyzed with grief. "This could have happened to anyone," I thought. Friends, loved ones, students, brothers, mothers, and sisters were taken away from us that morning. Though we do not know them like the living loved ones of the victims undoubtedly do, I use the word "us" because they were our friends, loved ones, students, brothers, mothers, and sisters, too. This is how we should view them.

Empathy is a lost emotion that hides behind the shadows of political foolishness and is consumed by fear. We cannot allow that to be true. We currently live in a world where a man named Trump is able to use the death of 49 people as a means to deliver an "I told you so" message without any societal repercussions. His messages, unfortunately, are validated by the millions of people that side with this ignoramus.

It hurts.

To my friends and family: I love you. If these last three years have proven anything, it is that life is more fleeting than ever before. I hope that you or I are not the victims of tragedy, but recent history is telling me that it can happen at any time. Therefore, in case I am unable to tell you before either of us perish, you should know that I love you.

I sincerely believe that I would not have to deliver this somber, morbid message if change happened after 20 children and 6 heroes were slaughtered - among other such mass murders that happen more often than there are NOT mass murders per year - by the same weapons that slaughtered the 49 friends, loved ones, students, brothers, mothers, and sisters in Orlando. In 3 plus years since that deadly attack nothing has changed. Therefore, it should not behoove me to believe that change will happen now, right? There should be change. I should believe that anything, even something, would change. If I lived in Australia I would be able to accept such belief. But recent history tells me that I would be a fool to accept that belief as reality in the "land of the free and the home of the brave."

Outside of these attacks, the majority of the country has spoken. They do not want change. They want governmental status quo, in the name of Hillary Clinton, or 50 plus years of regression, in the name of Donald Trump. That is what the country wants. This is not even a point of argument. It is the truth. (As an aside: I would gladly take status quo - with the hint of social progress as the first female president of the USA - over live-action "the floor is lava" any day.)

Watching Anderson Cooper read off every individual person who died Sunday morning, along with brief stories about them, was one of the most heart-wrenching segments I have watched in my 25 years of life. Is it not sad that these people are a designated blip on the mass-shootings-in-the-US-this-year map? And if change does not happen, that's all they'll ever be. They will have died for nothing. The LEAST we can do as a country is to ensure that these people died for progress. Died for prevention. Died for safety. Died for something more than another, "Oh, hey look, that thing happened again." I'm perfectly fine with talking about these horrific occurrences, but only if talking about it leads to doing something about it. Only if it leads to action.

Because action speaks louder than any moments of silence, any continuing news coverage, and any somber fucking blog post.

Kudos to all of the first responders, to all the heroes that came out of Sunday morning, and to all of the blood donors and donators that flocked to the attention of the suffering people left in the carnage. You are the silver-lining in all of this. You are Orlando.

I leave you with this John Green video in remembrance of the fallen:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkypKKtjfMU

- PatInTheHat

Cineol

When a body is
Translucent
Like a
Clear
Glass prism
It emits the most
Beautiful and
Exuberant colors
As light fights its way through
To create
Specific
Art
That can only be shown
Through that body
Alone

The rays begin to
Shine through
Touching and then
Consuming
A nearby observer
Who was previously
Bound
By other-worldly
Facades like
Stars and
Constellations
That are nothing more than
Once-existent
Fire balls of gas that
Wish upon a
Young child
To give them
Meaning

The Sun
And the abundance
Of clean
Oxygen
That allows us to
Breathe in
Beauty
And feel warmth
Are the only
Nobles
And other stellar elements
That tell the truth
Because we feel
Their touch
And consume
Their energy

Every body that we know
Is stellar
But only
One
Body
That we find
Can
Without a touch
Release quick-fire
Adrenaline rushes
Like the
Eucalyptus
For the starving koala
That instead fill our
Hearts
With the energy of passion
Forever
Relinquishing
The stomach pains of
Loneliness
And despair

- PatInTheHat

The Kracken

- For Lauren. Forever friend and companion. Happy birthday. -

The small cephalopod
Could be heard roaring
From the dark depths
Of an above-ground trench

Without support, the small,
Yet cunning cephalopod
Learned to walk on dry land
To inhabit the outer world

The triumph made the
Conquest of kings and queens
Pale in comparison, since
The cephalopod was alone

Once the brave cephalopod
Marked it's territory on earth
The darkness called out
And the squid went in

You see, a cephalopod
Can breathe in the darkness
Without fear of seemingly
Sure and probable suffocation

So while it may seem
To make sense on the surface
To fear an entrenched, earthly cephalopod
It should, instead, be rejoiced

The roars from the cephalopod
Signify the death of incognito
And selfish monsters that
Believe the darkness is for them

But the cephalopod can see
Through the turgid gluttons
That prey on the misinformed
Behind the red eyes of fear mongering

Because the cephalopod once feared
The dregs of the ocean
And the monsters that lied
On the bottom of those trenches

And the cephalopod conquered
Each and every one
Of the killing breeds
That connived death in the sea

The cephalopod had come
To do the same on dry land
To fix the discontent
And remain there, permanent

So, you see, the cephalopod
Is here for you and me
Here to conquer our dark
In a world of un-jest insanity

- PatInTheHat

Surprise Surprise

"McDonald's CEO, Steve Easterbrook, who admitted that his company's decision to improve worker wages and benefits has actually resulted in improved sales, contrary to what many skeptics predicted would hurt the business. "The improvements we made to our compensation and benefits package to employees in U.S.-company operated restaurants, along with expanding [the tuition assistance program] Archways to Opportunity ... have resulted in lower crew turnover and higher customer satisfaction scores," he told Wall Street analysts." - Via ATTN:

I know that I've posted the following Teddy Roosevelt quote--and I know I'll post it again and again so long as it remains true in times like this: 

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."

Good to see McDonald's doing what they thought was the wrong thing that turned out to be the right thing for business, since they never would have known either way had they continued to do nothing like so many others.

- PatInTheHat

Meaningless Memories

I remember driving down a nearly empty road with you on a summer weekend heading toward a thrift.

I remember jamming to musical interests we had in common and laughing to Weird Al songs while the next adventure awaited our arrival.

I remember the wedding we were guests at. At the reception I would keep forgetting that we were only guests and not the bride and groom. But now I know for a fact that we were guests.

I remember the seasonably cold trip to California. Or was it Seattle?

I remember watching the Food Network in bed as we dozed off after a long day. We were able to do that because we never went to bed hungry.

I remember when you took me to see my favorite sports team. You weren't even a fan of sports.

I remember the book you made me, painted over glued pages that held relevant-to-us song lyrics along with a mixtape. You told me that it symbolized a proposal if I wanted it to be. Good thing I never said "yes."

I remember when I was your outlet, your pillow to scream into. I hated seeing you upset, but I lived to make you feel better. It made me happy.

I remember when I planned a semi-secret date night for us both. You knew when, but didn't know where. When I arrived at your place, you were just finishing getting ready for a night out. You looked beautiful. To think I actually felt bad that the secret was making you a meal I started preparing a day in advance. Our last supper. I learned how to cook for you.

I remember our birthdays, because they were either surprises or simply when we were surrounded by great friends.

I remember when you forced me to watch that show about a man who time travels in a blue box.

I remember the zoo. The exotic birds landed on us in the bird cage, and we laughed at how comfortable they were while we had food for them. And how distant they became when we had nothing to offer.

I remember the drunken nights with friends. The loud laughter. The long conversations.

I remember when you told me to remember the happy times and then walked away.

What happy times?

- PatInTheHat

Backwards

In fear of a discontented overlord, he sped to work recklessly honking and yelling at those that drove in his way. A minute cannot be wasted.

In a calm, apathetic haze, he calmly drove home to see his wife and kids. Minutes can be wasted.

Repeat.

-PatInTheHat

Clover

First time I met her
With skin so fair
As pale as the moon
With a flower in her hair

Her friends gathered 'round
To celebrate this day
Without a cloud in the sky
The sun on her face

A man began to speak
To the crowd that came by
To give honor to this woman
Who is still as she lies

A leaf began to fall

From the tree branch above

As the speaker told everyone 

A story of love

She was his daughter

He only had one

With his only wife

A love that never came undone

What he does not know

Is that the girl was in love too

To a man never met over seas

From some site on the tube

I loved her to death

Never to see her die

And now I feel more alone

And left wondering, "Why?"

- PatInTheHat

Misanthrope

Behind podium
Chest out
Tie tight
Belt buckled
Shoes, lace-less

"I'm a man"
He declared
Pointing hand
In the air
"...obviously"

Is it? Are you?
Stereotyped himself
No one asked
No one cared
Self-aware

"Men go right.
Women go left.
In between,
Go home.
Leave us alone."

Idiocracy
Ignorance
Political fad
Now we care
Why go there?

"They'll rape!
Assault!
No one else
At fault!
Lay down the law!"

Except you?
Ha, this dude
Did he forget?
Did he regret
His own malcontent?

Months ago
Alleged bathroom assault
Always "alleged"
With these government heads
Is he kidding?

Of course not
Robot
Beep bopping agenda
Crowd stopped
Cheering now

Boo birds came out
Speaker's doubt, too.
We don't take kindly
To hypocrisy.
You're no deity.

Consistency is key
To rid ourselves
Of this insanity
Let them be.
Let them pee.

I'm only
Afraid of you
Lying to listeners
Dying to be mislead
And misinformed

- PatInTheHat

Four Count

Catch one
Catch one, one
Catch one, one
Caught
Taught not to be bought
Flung through space
Without warning this
Is
An ephemeral life
Are you OK?
Are you
Alright?
Did you sleep well?
Did you sleep tight?
Kings and queens cannot conquer congruently
When the world sees
A dick
As a symbol of
Infallibility and strength
While the mind is
Just
A child's play thing
Manipulated by
Corporate gods
Conceding family time to be
Mechanical mercenaries for hire
Killing time and
Making money

Catch one
Catch one, one
Catch one, one
Caught
Taut
This passage is a
Rope circle-tied
For one
Pair of scissors to cut
The noose wrapped around
Our minds
Let it loose
And then sleep right

- PatInTheHat

Break Glass

In case of emergency:
Place bullet in chamber, and fire at will
Find common ground by initiating discourse

In case of emergency:
Spew hatred towards those that are different than you
Accept social differences and ask questions to cure the epidemic of ignorance

In case of emergency:
Follow a religion routed in hate
Follow religious leaders who show love

In case of emergency:
Run away from your derelict country 
Tether self to the foundation that made your country great and fight for it

In case of emergency:
Condemn your opposition. They are wrong, of course.
Listen to those that oppose your ideals. Learn from them.

In case of emergency:
Take everything you can
Give everything you can. Receive happiness in return.

In case of emergency:
Pray to God. He will fix this.
Use your voice. Use your hands. Create change.

- PatInTheHat

College

She spoke
Broke down
No sound

Paralyzed
Minimized
Ostracized

River flows
No one knows
"You're a hoe!"

Unheard
Man's word
She's third

Calls friend
And then
Dead end

Friend's sigh
Retied
"He lied!"

One Rose
She shows
Nothing goes

Fraternity
Authority
Priority

College town
Male hounds
Unbound

She hurts
Even worse
Afterwards

Systemic
Epidemic
Cheap trick

Protect
Protect
Protect

- PatInTheHat

Necklace

A necklace clasped around an open throat

A baby crying in a crib not their own

A child vying to become president

We live in a time that is more fragile than the people living in it

Impolite pursuit of an agenda lost on opaque words

Incandescent idolatry illuminating ignorance

Inexplicable support of a killing brand

We fall in a line created by intangible audible tragedies

Making America great again

Making America hate, and then

My country full of heroes metamorphs into a country full of zeros

We look for treasure in a house of goose eggs because we are unaware of what it is like outside

Unfortunately we cannot quarantine the insane

Under disguised rocket silos

Ultimately sending unintelligible bigots into space

We count sheep to help us sleep and sheep count on blathering bile to lead us into dithering extinction

How tidy men awaken unkempt bears.

- PatInTheHat

Batman v Spiderman (a review...SPOILERS!)

Due to the wide range of opinions on this film--from down right awful to the best thing since sliced bread--I had to see this damn film for myself. I went in with super low expectations thinking that Zach Snyder was the new Tommy Wiseau.

The movie was actually not that bad. I mean, yes, the movie DOES try to do far too much. In the middle of the rising action, where you're supposed to be getting all anxious waiting to see how the movie is going to end, the movie does a couple stupid things:

1. Superman's dad, still played by Kevin Costner, was materialized by Clark Kent's character hiking to the top of a mountain. Costner blithers on about some shit no one in their right mind could ever care about. Someone  like two seats to the right of me was snoring--like really, snoring--right around this part. The snoring, for at least this part, was considerably more entertaining than the film.

2. All the sudden we go to what is assumed--at that moment of the film--to be Wonder Woman unhatching all of the "Super"-files. All of this cool stuff is happening, but we just HAVE to go back to introing random supers? It was the weirdest thing.

3. There were at LEAST three 5 to 10 second scenes that were in a row and completely detached from one another. I just remember going..."Uhhh, alright?"

4. This part wasn't exactly a part of the brunt of the rising action--or perhaps the most exciting part of it--but what the hell was with Batman's random dream? First off, I know that Zach was trying to put in more comic bits, and I know what he was TRYING to do, but it was just ridiculous. You can see it for yourself...dreams don't work that way. It was a stretch even for a fictional film.

5. Superman's mom having the same name as Batman's mom. I almost yelled at the movie during the part where Batman is about to kill Superman, "Are you FUCKING kidding me?!" Like, I get it, you're not ACTUALLY going to have Batman kill Superman or vice versa, but Jesus hell. Martha? Martha. Fuck me.

If all of the points mentioned above were cut out or better written at least, I genuinely believe this movie would have been REALLY good. Like, yeah, I get it. The Doomsday v. Superman comic doesn't include all these other heroes and all, but if you try to mentally cut out all the bs and just look at the main story line, the movie was pretty damn good and I was happy that Zach actually killed Superman instead of altering the original story so much that they--the supers--are able to kill Doomsday without Superman dying.

I thought Jessie Eisenburgh was a great Lex. A different kind of Lex, but I thought he really changed the type of acting he normally does to play a very sinister role.

With all the crap I mentioned above, the movie gets a 5/10 from me. If that stuff was cut out, I woulda gave it about an 8. It's a good enough movie to go see and judge for yourself, though. All those memes comparing it to The Room are ridiculous.

Oh, and one more thing, Ben Afleck wasn't a bad Batman. I wouldn't go as far as saying that he was better than Christian Bale--that's a bit of a stretch for me--but he wasn't half bad. He definitely deserves some kudos for playing an older Bruce Wayne that reminded me more of the older Bruce Wayne from the animated series Batman Beyond. He was quiet and brooding. His interaction with new Alfred--Jeremy Irons--came off a bit awkward at times, but the relationship grew on me throughout the film.

All-in-all, the film was definitely worth a friend paying for the ticket for you to go see. Here's looking at you, Ken! Haha X]

- PatInTheHat

Habitual

Screen
Work
Typing
Stop
Open bottle
Drink
Check phone
Phone's off

Screen
Work
Typing
Email
Stop
Open bottle
Drink
Check phone
Phone's off

Screen
Work
Typing
Email
Stop
Nothing
Check phone
Phone's off

Screen
Work
Typing
Check software
Email
Stop
Open bottle
Drink
Check phone
Phone's off

Screen
Work
Typing
Email
Stop
Fidgeting
Check phone
Phone's off

Screen
Work
Check phone
Phone's off

Screen
Work
Typing
Email
Stop
Meeting






Meeting over
Check phone
Phone's off

Screen
Work
Typing
Email
Stop
Open bottle
Drink
Go to the bathroom
Check phone
Phone's off

Return to desk
Check phone
Phone's off

Screen
Work
Typing
Email
Stop
Open bottle
Drink
Check phone
Phone's off

Screen
Work
Typing
Email
Stop
Turn off computer
Head home
Check phone
Phone's off

Turn on phone
Message overflow
Battery dies
Phone's dead

Arrive home
Check phone
Idiot
Brain dead

Phone's off

Rose

And so it goes
Another rose
Lying naked in a field of hearts

Stripped of time
So unkind
Hung by a severed clothes line

Delivered by
Delivery guy
In a bouquet of friends

Caught on fingers
Blood still lingers
Sacrificial gift of love

Until he sneaks
Beneath the sheets
Waiting for pale stems to spread apart

What sacrifice
That looks so nice
Pricks another lover

Hands on thorns
Feel like horns
The mammaries of another

Until his wife
Wields a knife
To ensure Rose is the last "other."

- PatInTheHat

Somewhere Citrus

I found myself in the middle of somewhere
Somewhere I had never found
Somewhere where we all belong,
But never can quite get to

A space where...

Mind and embodied souls of spaces

Cannot find, cannot mend

Apprehension with thoughts of 

Compressed unities transcend

Where we can't quite get to

Or reach

Even taste as we

Trip 
Into pits

Of prescribed self damnation
Still I'll never quit
Lost life, lost love, lost memories
We lose all that we find
The lemons make our lemonade
And then we lose the rind.

- PatInTheHat and Friends

Special thanks (in order of submitted appearance) to: Caitlin Tschanz, Rayn Phillips, and Mike Duff for contributing to this poem!

Somewhere In Time

Juxtapose
Another goes
Cram a moment
Quickly and quietly below
Under colored couch covers go
Inebriated lovers in a dark place
Effervescence into deep slumber beating time's race

- PatInTheHat

The Way The Wind Blows In The Dark

Without asthma. Without inhaler. Throat closes.

- PatInTheHat

Inevitable End

The indelible gunmen marched
  to the sound of their last heartbeat.

- PatInTheHat

1001

Moonless ocean movements
Amid clear summer skies
Shared by kaleidoscopic rainbows
Holding beauty without a brush
Another dream realized

Variable destinations
A great escape through time
Delicate yet destructive
Illegal one thousand times to kiss
More than a little affection
Only with this connection
Validating a skipped heart beat
Never in fear again
Always complete

Awake benevolence
Vivid images with closed eyes
Return to a garden of butterflies
Ascending high adrenaline
Meant for this moment
Eternity
Nostalgia of the future
Killing depression
Operating in sync

I Wrote You A Letter

I wrote you a letter
It said don't settle
So mettle...or let

I'm in no position
Or condition
To pretend that this relent
Is insincere, unclear, impermanent

I liken this story to Jack and Jill
The hill made them fall to, not for
The safety net for thrill, each other
The risk to fall; the reward: one another

This dance?
Call it romance.
Call it chance.

Dizzying, the spin on four
Encapsulating, the kiss on three
Entrancing, eyes lock on two
Beginning, the dance on one
Caught staring, having fun
7 to 8 to 9, time flew
But slow enough to see
So much more is in store...to come.

This is not an essay
A combination of jumbled words
Misunderstood quips and phrases
Do not let your mind run away

Rather, a written show for one
An exclusive written performance
The non-fiction variety
Real, within the first glance

The faster we run together
The longer we jump, forever
Drag our hearts to the starting line
Carried in unbreakable cages this time.

- PatInTheHat

Ten Cuidado

Ya know, when it comes to a topic such as this, I tend to not get into it. This time around, I feel like something needs to be said...

Bill Cosby is a rapist. There's nothing to argue about as far as this goes. He's even admitted to doing so, and whether he did it to one or one hundred all-in-all he's a fucking slime-ball--on behalf of man-kind, I assure you, we're not all rotten fucks like Bill Cosby. And I'm kind of ashamed to have ever cared about the man's existence in my life. Hindsight is always 20-20, though, right?

I mean, Jesus Christ, fucking Quaaludes? I'm just so disappointed in that sham of a man. There's so much regress that he could have/could be caused/causing for any and all non-whites in this country. So many people looked up to him, and then this? I know I'm making it sound like he just did this...I know he didn't. He was recently found out. I'm sure this isn't news to anyone at this point.

All of that said. All of that disappointment and sincere malice I feel towards that man--and rapists in general--aside:

We need to be careful when talking about this stuff.

Just recently I was watching Larry Wilmore. He's hilarious. A lot different than Colbert, but the show stands on its own. I find that the show is a breath of fresh air from the Keeping it 100 segments down to the ridiculous 70's skits--as well as the different star appearances whom participate each show. For most of last year, if he wasn't talking about Bill Cosby as part of his monologue, then at the very least he was signing off his show with a picture of Cosby going across the screen as he emphatically and hilariously yells, "I didn't forget about you, mother fucker! I didn't forget about you!" I think it's definitely important to make sure we don't forget about people that deceived us for so long--in this case, Cosby.

However, there was one show that Larry decided to talk about Cosby's counter-suing of some of his alleged victims. Larry, as though he knows for a fact that Cosby had anything to do with these women, started going on and on about "How dare he sue his victims! As if humiliating them wasn't enough, now you're playing victim!"

Now look, maybe these women were indeed raped/assaulted/etc by Cosby, but what Larry was eluding to left a bad taste in my mouth. Please, let me explain...

This world...this world is a fucking mess. It was only a few years ago that it became commonplace for people to strap bombs to themselves to blow themselves and anyone around them into smithereens.

People rape other people. Racism exists. Homophobia exists. These are all unfortunate truths, but I think the worst thing that we can do about ANYTHING is making assumptions about people due to their skin color, their ethnicity, their class, their intelligence level, etc. What I mean by that--and Cosby is a MUCH different story since, as I said, he's already admitted to raping--is that we can't allow ourselves to let the boy cry wolf, and believe, automatically, that there's a wolf. Yes, perhaps not the best analogy since we know how that story ends--spoiler alert, there eventually was a wolf--but my point is to say: In a world searching for equality, we can't live in a world where we believe rape IS NOT ok, but be complacent with people making false allegations. The reason I bring up equality is because our patriarchal society, and the years and years and years of male on female documented rape, makes it seem like that all men in general can, at any point, be complete and utter scum of the Earth by forcing a women into sexual endeavors.

But the truth is that women rape men and men rape women. Men also lie about women raping them for whatever fucked up reason, and women also lie about men raping them for whatever fucked up reason. Especially after years and years go by, I know how hard it is for evidence to be maintained in order to prosecute someone accordingly, and, although I've never personally been raped, I know how hard it is to talk to someone ABOUT being raped.--OK, let me adjust that, I indirectly understand how hard it is, and I'm sure it's even harder than that in actuality. However, we still need to maintain due process. Again, the Cosby situation is A LOT different. But I've seen countless stories about men being accused of rape, going to trial, being acquitted of all charges, but then people saying that he's definitely a rapist anyway! Accusing someone of rape is almost literally a death sentence for that person. The WEIGHT of that accusation is grand. In this day and age that accusation might even be worse than murder if the accusation is proven incorrect/a lie.

Ultimately, although our justice system does not currently work this way, I would hope that a proven liar is sentenced to jail for the same amount of time the alleged suspect was going to get for said rape. That's how justice should work. If not enough evidence is found in coordination with the alleged act, then that's one thing. If there is a proven lie for such an accusation, then I hope it rains on the accuser just as hard as it would an actual rapist. Those people are of equal colored slime.

- PatInTheHat

Oregon

Really?!

REALLY?!?!

Really.

Not a peep.

No media talking about "terroristic event."

No police gang-raiding these people.

Yeah, but don't let those Refugees in. I'm sure they're just DYING to take over a Federal building. On the contrary: They're JUST dying.

When is this country going to actually feel right again? Does anyone else feel like they're surrounded by muck? The current issue is happening in Oregon, yet I feel like it's happening outside of my front door.

Protest with signs...THAT is a protest.

Protest with guns--no matter the color of your skin--THAT is terrorism.

Jesus hell, this country sometimes.

- PatInTheHat