Paint Me A Picture

Mental illness.

We all know someone who suffers from some type of mental illness. It's no easy task helping a friend with it. It's hard. It's hard for them. It's hard for us. It takes indomitable patience from both sides; it takes indomitable perseverance.

One of the more common misdiagnosed and many times undiagnosed mental ailments is depression. It's not undiagnosed because the psychiatrist isn't sure, but rather that the patient never goes to see the psychiatrist in the first place. The patient is in such a high state of self-conflict that he/she doesn't want anyone to know the issue even exists.

Sometimes depression is temporary. Temporary because of heart break. Temporary because someone in our families died. Temporary because of a cold, dark, seemingly endless winter. Temporary because of a struggling life: bad grades, bad work performance, not accomplishing the sports achievements we feel should be within our reach, etc.

Over the course of my life, I have felt this type of depression (I'm sure many, if not all of you have, too). For me, and something I've written about in previous posts in either story form or in my numerous and lengthy rants, depression feels not only like sadness, but also like there is a giant weight on my chest. An immovable force when I wake up in the morning. Or that my lungs feel like they're filled with inexpellable water. This same type of feeling has been described to me by others who have also suffered or suffer from depression. Another experience I've been able to relate is being "scatter-brained." For me, this happens when the chemical balance in my head is still too volatile. I'm unable to be creative; I'm unable to say what I feel; I'm unable--almost incapable--of venting. This happens, again for me, because the emotional toll would be seemingly far too enormous to handle. If you guys want to know why I keep things close to my chest, and why I sort of disappear from time to time, this is why.

Those with worse symptoms than I've described, i.e. self-infliction, suicidal tendencies, etc.generally exhibit the scatter-brained/always wanting to be  alone symptoms as well--this part not from experience, but from psych journals everywhere.

All of that aside, (and forgive me for coming across as Jr. psychologist for a moment) it is well documented that some of our favorite artists were pretty depressed. One that I'd like to focus on specifically is Vincent Van Gogh. Now, his ending didn't turn out too well, as his depression ended up getting the best of him, but he painted beautiful and colorful pictures to perhaps quell his suicidal tendencies. Even when no one cared about his paintings, he likely created many of the paintings for himself. He painted himself colorful pictures so that in the sea of grey that he saw each day that he woke up, he could see the color in his paint and in his paintings.

One of the things that HAVE helped me from time to time, when I was finally able to talk about anything and write some things, is being as vivid as possible. I can't draw or paint worth a damn. I've mentioned before that music helps me see color, so that's always a plus, but sometimes music feels grey, too.

Point: To our friends who we're concerned about in their depressive state whether temporary or permanent chemical imbalances, it might be advantageous of us to ask them to paint us a picture. If they can't paint or draw like me, then maybe ask them to write you a colorful story. It will be a challenge for them, no doubt, but I think the act of asking them could be motivation for them to put their mind on things that might make them happy. It could also lead them to painting or writing about sad/morbid topics, but this, too, might help them cope with the pain their feeling. Perhaps it can help them out of their scatter-brained state. It might even get them to come out with friends more often.

A lot of situations in life are about taking the very first step. A lot of times, the first step is the hardest to take, but once one foot goes in front of the other, the other tends to follow. Objects in motion stay in motion unless otherwise opposed. It's one of Newton's laws of physics, but I think it can definitely apply to all of us. We'd like to be the motor and the key that turns some of our tendencies on and off, but there are times when someone else is better off having that key--helping us turn the motor over.

Everyone always talks about the little things making big impacts. So, let's try to focus on that when it comes to our friends, and see if we can help them get out of their rut. Even if it's not just a rut--something they need to take medication for--the effort that you show them to help them feel better speaks volumes. Since it seems like many of us are doing our best to combat mental illness with mental health awareness campaigns, let's do our part by doing all of the little things that our friends may need to get by.

If any one of you out there needs someone to talk to, I'm always available. And hey, if there's nothing you want to talk about, then paint me a picture =)

- PatInTheHat