Sorry, nope.
Absolutely not.
There's literally nothing you can do or say to stop me.
Spontaneous combustion? Instantaneous death? Cancer?
Bring it on!
I don't care if the information is coming from the World Health Organization or the Three Little Pigs: I'm. Eating. Bacon.
In case you guys haven't noticed: This world blows. There are only so few things we have on this ridiculous place that we can actually enjoy, and bacon is one of things that I can't. I won't. I would never let anyone take away from me.
Nope. Mmm mm (shakes head). No.
As much as I love bacon, my reason for choosing to not follow the news that bacon is a cancer hazard similar to smoking tobacco does not come from just my subjective love for bacon consumption. There is also some logic behind this thirst for pork bellies.
1. (And this is obviously more subjective, but still relevant) Bacon makes me happier than you. I don't know who or what you are or where you're from, but bacon does something that you, whoever you are, just can't do--make me happy in seconds. (Yes, I'm absolutely being facetious, but all kidding aside, bacon makes me happy. Shut up, don't judge me!)
2. First off (and to get more serious), everything should be eaten in moderation. From certain fruits, plants, meats, candies, etc. Every single thing should be eaten in moderation. Secondly, there's something inherently incorrect about saying that the hazard of getting cancer from processed meat is on the same or similar level of smoking tobacco. I'm kinda surprised doctors aren't writing articles in rebuttal to these "findings," but for one: There is something that is very different between our pulmonary cells (lung cells) and almost every other cell in our body (with the exception of brain and nerve cells) and that is they don't grow back. Our lung cells are in a constant state of the cellular reproduction cycle called "G-zero," where no matter how damaged or torn our lungs get, they can't repair/reproduce new, healthy cells. This is NOT true for every other part of our body minus the ones that I've mentioned. Since pulmonary cells can't repair, they are more likely to mutate into cancerous cells than any other section of our bodies minus those other areas that I mentioned: the brain and nerves. So, to say that bacon or any other processed meats are on the same level as smoking tobacco is, in my opinion (although an educated one), completely bogus, and sounds like some strange scare tactic to get us to buy, what, more veggies from farmers? I have no idea.
3. I'm quite sick of vegetarians tooting their whistle every time something like this comes out about meat. "See! Everyone should be eating veggies! You guys are dumbasses! Die meat eaters!" First off, uhhh, we're all omnivores. You learned this word in grade school science class. It means that we, us humans, can eat veggies and meat. Part of that class told us why we SHOULDN'T treat veggies as a prime source of nutrients, and it's because our body is incapable of converting many veggies into caloric energy and/or proper proteins to rebuild our muscles. Moreover, vegetarians don't even live that much longer than everyone who eats a normal diet. In fact, by the time we're 80, the statistical probability of having or getting heart disease (since that's the one disease that is talked about even more often than cancer) is negligible.* Average expected life is approximately 77 years as is. By that time, life is basically over anyway. I don't care if you think your veggies will let you live, in the grand scheme of things, like 5 minutes longer than me. I really don't care. I've been running for 14 years of my life. Should I shove it down your throat that you're a lazy piece of shit that never works out, and that I'll definitely live longer than you, because I exercise? No. No, I won't. Because I'm not a major douche-fuck. An asshole sometimes? Yes. But not a major douche-fuck. Glad that's cleared up.
I posted a similar article about sleep not long ago. In it I talked about how life expectancy decreases with bad sleep habits. This is true, but, again, the question is: Did it make you happier to not sleep? Did you go out to have and make good times happen? Similarly, does it make you happier to have meat in your life? If the answer to these questions are "yes," then you're doing exactly what you should be doing with your life. The same goes for you vegetarians. If it makes you happy to be a veggie, then good! And don't tell me you're trying to save everyone's lives by being that "I told you so" asshole when articles like this come out. You just want to be right. Don't be that Jehovah's Witness asshole that knocks on everyone's social media to shove your vegetarian propaganda down everyone's throat.
Deal?
Deal.
We all die in the end. Other than suicide and those who are murdered by psychopaths, who cares how our demise happens?
Bacon?
Bacon.
- PatInTheHat
*http://www.lifeextension.com/magazine/2006/1/awsi/Page-01
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