Hello readers! Happy New Year! I can tell that some of you have been anxiously awaiting for me to write a new (goddamn!!) post, so here goes...
What better way to start the new year than with a rant, right? So, that's exactly what I'm going to do. And I'm sure by my title you've already figured out what this post is going to be about. If you thought "Taylor Swift," then you win!
Your prize? Reading what I'm about to say! Wooooo!!!
I have NOT written a post ranting about musicians. I've indirectly ranted about no specific musicians, and this will be my first segment-of-many specific rants on musical performers. I digress..
Taylor Swift...is crazy.
There's really no other way to talk about her after some of the music I've heard from her most recent album. I mean, yeah, I THOUGHT she was kinda crazy before this past album. I gave her the benefit of the doubt after a shitty relationship with John Mayer--for those who don't know, he's kind of the worst human being. If only he was as beautiful as his songs, right ladies and non-straight men? But now...now I KNOW she's out of her mind.
I know. You're probably already half-yelling at the screen like, "What? Are you saying women whom write emotional music are crazy? THAT'S SEXIST!" No. First off, men and women are both crazy to their core. Over the course of MY life, I've seen more of the opposite--more crazy men than women--that go against the silly social stigma. What I'm saying is: Taylor Swift, this woman specifically, is a nut-fuck. She needs serious help. The following paragraphs will explain what I deem to be evidence of this scientific FACT i.e. not at all an opinion <----- for future reference, this is a specific example of me being facetious/sarcastic in case you haven't figured me out already.
I will start off from the beginning of her career and work my way up to the current year.
1. She WAS a country star. WAS. What happened? Everything was perfectly fine. She was sane. She was writing good, clear messages and music that everyone could relate to. Hell, we could even snuggle up next to OUR significant others and be all, "Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine, and life can seem unkind..." We were all so happy with Country-star Taylor Swift, weren't we? I mean, I was, and obviously everyone needs to be on the same page as me so LET'S GO, PEOPLE! =) All kidding aside, Taylor Swift was the one country star who cared more about bringing people together and less about singing about trucks, fishing, and drinking--she cared about those things, too, just not nearly as much as, say, Dirks Bentley. She was also successful and becoming more successful, but some SOB came along and turned her into a psychological monster! Whoever it was, curse him/her! For all intents and purpose (that's right intents and purposes, people. Not "intensive purposes") Taylor Swift may have someone to blame for her lack of sanity, but there is a decent amount of evidence to the contrary.
2. Taylor Swifts albums are COMPLETELY about her relationships with men she dated. Before her most recent album, just about every song specifically related to an ex-boyfriend. Sometimes she was berating them lyrically. Other times she was apologizing--I forget the name of the song, but there's one in particular that she is apologetic towards her relationship with Taylor Lautner. Ya know, the shirtless guy from Twilight. Oh, you didn't watch that movie/trilogy? Yeah, me either. I know I could just as easily Google the name of the song, but I would feed her insanity with my own if I did that, and that's just not happening. At least...not this time =) Her insanity shows through here, because it's almost like she's crying out to either be fixed by some go-getter of a guy or to never be in a relationship ever (ever ever ever) again. I mean, she does know that men AND women listen to her songs, right? She's pretty much lyrically singing, "If you date me dadadaaaaaa I will write a song boopboopdeedoop about you so it better be ohhhhhhhhhh so good or else I'll give a giant *symbol crash* fuck youuuuuuu through song, yeahhhhh." See any red-flags, people? Exactly. Basically 6 red flags. Except it's not a symbol for a great adventure. It's a symbol for a torurous hell.
3. Lastly, one of Taylor's newest singles specifically wants to eradicate the human race. This, for me, is the nail in the coffin. If you've ever listened to "Blank Space," did you carefully listen to some of her lyrics? I mean, there's a part of the song that you pretty much can't NOT (double negatives are cool) listen to, because if you're with a group of people--mostly girls-- when the song comes on wherever you are, then you're going to hear them singing it, too. The lines are, "Boys only want love if it's torture. Don't say I didn't (say I didn't) warn ya." Does anyone see any problems with these lines? And don't even tell me she's being artistic. She's blatantly saying, "All men suck. Don't date them." Yes, there are women that don't listen to her songs, and MOST of those that DO don't take her seriously, but that's what the lyrics are saying! And then the rest of the song is her ADMITTING that people call her insane--gee, I wonder why--and THEN saying, "I have a blank space baby, and I'll write your name!!!!!!!" I mean, holy hell, talk about someone straddling the fence.
*Temporarily acting as Taylor Swift* All men suck. Don't date them. But I'll date them. Not to date them, but to write more songs. Yeah. I don't have any problems. Everyone else does. *End scene*
Ya know, this reminds me of that saying about assholes that I'll contort for sake of the insane:
If you go throughout your day and one person calls you insane, then you're fine, and they're insane (they're also probably assholes). If it seems like everyone you see throughout the day is calling you insane, then you're insane (and you're the asshole, so stop trying to act like you don't need to be institutionalized).
Ahhhh, that was like taking a swig out of a fresh can of soda. I love starting the new year off right!
=D
- PatInTheHat
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