I'm sure I've made that point pretty clear through previous posts, but in case I haven't made it crystal clear, there ya have it. And here's some more fuel to the fire.
One of the stranger times of day is lunch time. If you're new to a company in corporate America, then you probably don't have any work friends. Even if you had people you could call "work friends" it certainly doesn't guarantee that they will ask you to go to lunch with them. I'm not saying this is a mandatory thing to do among co-workers. It's definitely not. But there is about a 30-minute period between 11:50 and 12:20 that anything can happen.
Either you decide that you're getting lunch yourself--which is something that I tend to do the majority of the time--or you ask a co-worker to get lunch with you or a co-worker does the same. Luckily my aunt works in the same building I do, so I just go eat with her. It's considerably less awkward that way anyway. Once I actually sit down to have lunch with co-workers--other than my aunt--it's basically just as awkward because no one wants to accidentally say anything offensive.
In my department we have this one guy, who is right under the VP of the tax department, who, if we all have lunch together, always jokes at the lunch table and sometimes using vulgarity. It certainly lightens the mood, but you can never reciprocate his actions/words or else it's considered unprofessional all the sudden.
I wish that was the strangest occurrence.
The strangest occurrence for me, especially as it relates to lunch time, is the ritual feeding of the higher-ups who are having meetings throughout the day. These wealthy entrepreneurs gather in a conference room and are fed, free of charge, at lunch time. Sometimes they get full buffets, too, with those hot steel trays that you saw at prom that held the meatballs, veal, mashed potatoes, etc.
I'm using the word "strange," but really these kinds of things irk me. I mean, you're kidding me, right? I know how this country is set up. The wealthier you are, the less you have to pay. It's privilege as far as the eye can see, and I'm sure if I ever got to their positions I'd feel grateful. But that's bullshit, isn't it? Why do we, the intern, along with other colleagues in the department, that earns pittance in comparison, have to pay for our own lunch, but you, magistrates, get to mosey on over to a kitchen right outside of the room you are having these meetings for free food and drinks?
Ha, they don't want us to feel forgotten about, though. If they leave anything uneaten, guess where it goes! That's right, the food we weren't supposed to eat finally comes to us. The dogs of the company finally get their bone. And what's always left? The stuff that no one ever wants to eat. Just to put that in comparison for you pet owners out there, that's the equivalent of you dropping something on the floor, and whistling to your dog to clean up the mess.
Doesn't that just make you feel all warm, fuzzy, and wanted?!
No, it doesn't.
About 20 minutes ago, one of those ritual moments occurred when someone from our department discovered that some food was left over for us! Like a flock of starving seagulls, half of the department, who, by the way, make substantially more than I do, practically sprinted to the food to make sure they got some before anyone else did. None of those people included me, because I had no idea what happened until it was explained a little later. What did I find when I got there other than a sign that everyone started to ignore that said, "Do not eat, please. For Executive lunch"? Some salad with no dressing.
Mmm, fucking yum.
There are times like these where I wish I was back in high school and could just draw penises and other graffiti all over shit you didn't approve of. Back then, it was socially acceptable to do this. And then, I shit you not, things actually changed. People got the message. If you did this kind of stuff in corporate America, all you get is a pink slip that says, "Don't come back tomorrow," if they figure out it was you, anyway.
Heaven forbid you disagree with common practices. -.- Grumble grumble.
- PatInTheHat
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