Who doesn't love a good book? When I was younger, I hated reading books. It was never because I couldn't read. In fact, at a very young age, I was reading better than most of the kids in my grade. Well, I can't prove that as true, but, at the very least, I could read out loud better than most. I really hated reading books that were given to us as students for assignments. "Here," the teacher would start out saying--this next part is paraphrased, "read this terrible book that you'll hate so we can talk about it in class next week." Because I hated these books, my reading comprehension was sub-par. Most times I'd fall asleep while reading, or lose so much concentration while reading that I'd get through ten pages and not remember a single thing. When I'd come to from my haze, I'd realize I was on page 80 even though I swear I was just on 70 of a book that has a title I had already forgotten about.
Aside from those books, I actually enjoyed reading. There are books like A Wrinkle in Time that I loved as a kid and still love to this day. I read books like Sidhartha, too. If I was really interested in a read, then I could read a book, or even a textbook, and remember almost every nook and cranny about it. In high school, I read a TON of books. We didn't have a choice. If I didn't have a 5 page paper on a book for some class--it didn't have to be English class--then it was a miracle. But most of the books we were told to read in high school, minus maybe Shakespearean text, I loved. I read Dante's Inferno, The Tipping Point,* Gulliver's Travels, Oedipus, etc. All of them were memorable, and all of them I loved.
I don't really read a lot of books now. There are books I WANT to read,** but I don't have a ton of time between all the things going on in my life. Instead, I read about everything else circulating on the interwebs. And that brings us to the reason for the title, and the reason I'm writing this post...
I'm an information gatherer. Not only do I gather information that I read, word-reading that is, but I also gather information about people. (Going back to the bonus game in my first post: I strictly love knowledge) No two people are the same. We all know that, but what's fascinating is that despite no two people being the same, those same people can share the same tendencies. As I've been told numerous times, it's not necessarily fair to guess how someone is thinking or feeling based on someone else we've come in contact with that exhibits similar body language, but the odds are in our favor if we do.
All of us humans like believing this one thing about ourselves: We're unique. We stand out. We are similar to no one. In a lot of ways that is definitely true, but in a lot more ways that is definitely not so true. That doesn't mean we're not unique in our own right. We are, definitely, our own self. However, humans are creatures of habit. That generally means that we watch other people do activities, and then we mimic their activities. This is sort of how smoking cigarettes, weed, and any other recreational drug became "cool." On the less potentially detrimental side of the spectrum, this is also how we became good people. We grew up watching our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, etc. behave in a certain way, and then we, along with our own unique touch, mimicked these activities, emotions, etc. to form our own personalities.
Knowing these things, it's not ridiculous to think that you, the reader reading this post, have a personality similar to your parents or whoever else raised you. It's also not ridiculous to think that you have molded that learned personality a bit through your friends, significant others, colleagues, etc. over the years. Hell, maybe you were even influenced by a favorite actor, favorite character, favorite musical artist and the like. I know I've been influenced by all of the above one way or another. This is actually one of the reasons why certain video games and movies have ratings like "R" or "Mature." A good majority of people believe that kids/people can be negatively (or positively, but positive influences aren't the problem) influenced. I think it's true. I'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist, but human behavior is super fascinating to me.
I've seen people change in an instance (seriously). Are all people that unpredictable? No, absolutely not--though it should be noted that I had to re-learn that, and it took me quite some time. When I am sitting in silence, which I understand that is a rare occurrence for many of you, I'm reading. I'm reading situations. I'm reading people: Their body language. Every body speaks differently in given situations, but sometimes people speak the exact same language without saying a word. Yes, I pay attention. And a lot of times I can relate to someone's language. That's why on some occasions when you're at a party or a larger gathering and you see your friend behaving a certain way: like alienating themselves, getting rowdy, looking disengaged, you go up to them. Now, you first probably ask them if they're OK, but you already know the answer before they say it. You do these things--we do these things--because either you've seen it before, like learning from experience, or you've experienced a similar emotion and probably fancied similar body language to go along with it.
Assuming that everybody exhibits the same emotions in any given situation as you or even other friends that have been in similar situations is not necessarily the way to go, but the odds are definitely in your favor. Some people are different, though. REALLY different. I don't include these people in the sample space of people I've come in contact over the course of my life, because they ARE unpredictable. Truly unpredictable. People that you think you can trust at first, and then realize you can't over time. I'm not talking about the friendships that grow apart because of age, different jobs, different living circumstances, etc. I'm talking about people who buy you a cake for your birthday, but end up being a serial killer. That's a bit of an exaggerated scenario, but I think you get my point.
Ultimately, every single person you come in contact with is life lesson. They might be terrible people. they may also be amazing people. Either way, you learn from them, and then you use that knowledge to make decisions about people and situations later down the line. That's just human nature.
Sometimes relaxing and taking a second to read is important. No, you don't want to over-step, though it can happen on accident, but without giving it a try, you may come across disinterested.
*Shrugs* Generally, in my experience, people care more that you're giving the effort in getting to know them than whether you're right or wrong about how they're doing or feeling.
Thought for food.
- PatInTheHat
*If you have not read this book by Malcolm Gladwell, I highly recommend it. This was given to me as a read in my Junior-year English class, and it shows the progression, and in some cases the regression, of our economic system.
**Especially if it's anything from John Green's hands.
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