Strings

After a gentle sob in her hands
She looked up at me and said,
"It's too much, you see,
It's too much for me
I must move on and
Let you do the same"

______


Under the umbrella of
An unfinished affair
I felt a pull one day,
A curious reeling sensation that
Started to move me somewhere
That I had once been

I had come to the potential
And uncomfortable realization
That I am Pinocchio
Before the cricket
And the wish
Yet still lying with others

Each woman
A pair of scissors
Forebodingly and unsuccessfully
Cutting their way through
The silk strings
That have me captured

Though it feels like
I am inside the web
Of a spider enchantress
Ready to suck
The entire life
Out of its force-tied prey

I feel instead
A sense of morbid curiosity
Hoping that the
Webbed lasso
Squeezing itself around my ribcage
Is just a warm blanket

The pull strengthens
And I give in
To the recoil I feel
From the back of
My heart to the
Front of hers

It did not matter that
The beat of her heart
Created an earthquake
That spread us apart
Because the strings
Held us together

'Til death

- PatInTheHat

Mauerbauertraurigkeit

He sat there
Talking with friends
That did everything
They could
To keep his attention

Five feet away
But as far reaching
As the Atlantic
Between the US
And the UK

In silence
He listened carefully
But in his mind
He ran quickly
In another direction

Trying to forget
The idiosyncrasies
That allowed her
To pierce his heart
Of layered gauze

The catch of
This well-done
Cooked scenario
Branded his brain
With contention

A lifetime
He lived rooted in the ground
Next to perpetual
And cyclical
Fervid chrysanthemums

- PatInTheHat

So We Thought

Her:
pasta is bubbling on the stove
water sizzling and hissing
mingling with the sighs of simmering sauce
left unattended
the cat sits on the table
whining for our affection
but you pull me close
and we sway
slow dancing in the kitchen
the tiles cool beneath my bare toes
my knees graze your calves
you hum Sinatra and smile down at me
eyes crinkling at the corners
I stare into their shadowed depths and

think of the river
cool breeze on an Autumn night
no stars in the sky as we sit in my car
tangled in the seat belt
my knees squeezing your thighs
a forbidden first kiss
telling you “we can't do this”
as I pull you closer

I pull you closer
twirl my fingers through your hair
the way you've twirled yourself around my heart
lodged between ribs
twined in veins
rooted deeply
resting my head against your chest
I feel your heart beat
remember

your erratic pulse,
nervous energy
salesman's smile and
shaky pitch
my legs just barely touching yours
on that hard, black futon
unforgiving, judging us
as I held your hand,
brushing my lips against your finger
saying, “we can't do this,”
as I pull you closer

I pull you closer.
I know I should tell you
“we can't do this right now
the pasta will turn to mush
and the sauce will bubble over.
we need to chastise the cat
for sitting on the table,”
but instead
I frame your face in my hands
tiptoe into the kiss
and say,
“we can do this”

Him:
water boiling, bubbling, banging
pasta gasping for air, a companion
sauce in reach
left unattended
a furry thud comes from the table
the cat whines and wins a glance from you
but I pull you close to me
and we sway
slow dancing in the kitchen
distractions disappear, my forehead to yours
hips moving in unison, attached
I hum Sinatra and you smile up at me
I stop abruptly, “more?” you ask
I shake my head shyly and

recall the cafeteria
dark and dimly lit corners
no one around but you and I
tangled in our delicate ideas
your hand caressing my face
a forbidden first kiss
whispering to you artificial apologies
as I pull you closer

I pull you closer
envelop my arms around your waist
the way you’ve enveloped your love around my heart
nestled against my aorta
filling each ventricle with warm flames
forever ablaze
your head rests against my chest
my heart flutters in a rush of joy
remember

your smile
a moment, translucent
your influx of concern
coming and going
wanting to see that smile again
enjoying the moment
could be the last
it’s not the last
it won’t be the last
I hope we can do this
I know we can do this

“This is it,” I say
more confident  than ever
still dancing smoothly
cherishing each moment
each movement
you kiss my lips softly
as if it’s the last
but I have no worry
it’s your heart touching mine
breathing with mine
we then say in harmony,
“we can do this”


- PatInTheHat

Lapidary

Please don't harm the outside of
this priceless stone I found.
It has only been a short time since
I dug her from the ground.

She glistens in the moonlight
and blends with twinkled stars.
More beautiful than the lapidary
forming undulating scars.

She reconciles with yellow
and makes friends with rain.
She flushes away the darkness
and relinquishes the pain.

What am I to do now when I
take a loving knee?
Because there's nothing I can give
her that's more precious than she.

- PatInTheHat

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Dear        ,

Hello, there. Though I may never meet you, I want you to know you are beautiful. Your beauty emanates in the way you walk and talk. That will never change.

Hello, there. You are my transparent daydreams. I cannot see you, but I know you are there somewhere. I hope you are happy and rid of any malcontent. You deserve to be happy.

Hello, there. I want you to know that I'm ready. I'm ready for your poor grammar and punctuation. Your silly shoes and frizzy hair. I'm ready for your ups and downs, because we all have them. None of that matters in the long-run after all, right? I'm ready if you are ready. Is there such a thing as being ready?

Hello, there. It is cold and snowy out, but your warmth cascades over those closest to you. It is no wonder they love you so much. 

Hello, there. What are you afraid of? Is it the future, or is it the past? Both are terrifying in their own right, but, I wonder, which are you closest to? No matter, dear. We'll fight through the demons just as you have always been able to do on your own. You are strong. But together: immortal. 

Hello, there. Are you there? I cannot see through the haze, but I guess I should trust that you are there. Do not go too far. Please stay safe.

Goodbye for now. Hope to see you soon.

Sincerely,